Learning to Live in the Maybe

As Stormy mentioned, summer seems like a time for a break. I got lazy in my blogging. Lazy in anything I had to do. Well, today the school bus arrived and the kids were sent off to school. Though it is in the high 90s, summer is over and a new year has begun. For some reason, I am still on a school calendar year. I never transitioned to New Year’s being the start of a new year. It has always been the end of summer that signals a new start. Which also means now is the time to get back into my routine including blogging and hectic kids schedules. It also is the time to see what the new year has ahead for me.

If I am going to be completely honest, well, as forthcoming as I will be online, I have made a bit of a mess out of my life. Let’s just say I have some cleaning up to do but no answers or clear path on how to get it done. The best way to describe it is I feel like my life is a snow globe that got shook up and right now it is still in small floating pieces. Everyone, including me, is looking in wondering what the landscape will be once the storm settles.

This means I am heading into my new year without an action plan. For a control freak like me that is a bit of a problem. I am good under pressure. Give me a problem and a goal and I can put together an action plan and go after it. Give me a lot of unknowns and I am a basket case.  My head is reeling and I have never been able to just make it “stop.” Not even as a focus on a vision board. I still cringe at that word “stop.”

But, it looks like I have no choice. For awhile, I will be living in the maybe. My friend sent me that blog from The Daily Love. She had been quoting out of it for a good year. I never read any of it. Thought some of the quotes were nice. Maybe a bit too many daily affirmations.

I always respected it was helping her get through some struggles, though. So this time, when she sent me a quick note the day after hearing what I was going through and thought it was time for me to relax and trust and read “Can you live in the maybe?” I decided,what the hell? Now it has become my new action plan in a land of unknowns. Granted, I have to reread it multiple times a week to remember to quiet myself down.

So, as I try to live in the unknown a bit. I have now found one new thing that helps. Yes, I embarrassingly admit my morning ritual is a walk, coffee and my Daily Love email.  I also have found lots of standbys that still help and have never let me down.

  • Dancing
  • Girlfriends
  • A glass of wine

And, if nothing else I am learning for the first time that not everything comes storyinstantly. (And, thank goodness for a crazy family and work life that distracts me from wanting to know the end of the story. I have great hope to make this chapter a good one and take a minute to live in the present.)

I guess this is the year of taking care of me. Learning to have patience. Damn, I am making an action plan. Better go back and read my blog again!