Tag: style

The Closet Chronicles, part II: A wardrobe frustration leads to a jeanius solution

On By StormyIn Attitude, Fashion/beauty, Getting olderLeave a comment

I was amused a few years back when GenZ declared the Millennials to be uncool because they couldn’t move on from their side parts or skinny jeans. Oh, the wailing and gnashing of teeth! 

Fortunately, my generation (early GenX) had already experienced the abject humiliation of being labeled “uncool” by those same Millennials years ago. As someone who is closer to 60 than 40 these days, it’s been a long time since I’ve looked to teenagers for fashion validation.

What I found particularly funny about the declaration banning skinny jeans is that, regardless of which type of denim the fashion police have declared in or out of style in a given year, those of us who have cycled through all the trends understand that the answer to “which jeans look best” is both subjective and constantly changing. 

An Integral and Authentic Part of My Wardrobe

During most of my corporate career, I worked in an office and dressed a step up from business casual. Skirts and dresses were the norm, so jeans were reserved for Fridays and weekends. Like a lot of remote workers, I took a hard turn into extreme casual wear during the pandemic, but am now trying to find a balance. In fact, after too many months spent lounging around in yoga pants and the like, I made it one of my New Year’s resolutions to put on real pants each day!

I’m proud to say that I’ve been successful with that one (I adhere to the SMART goal framework, so achievability is key)! … In my world, that means that I’m generally reaching for a pair of jeans.

And now I’m going to make a very controversial statement: There’s a time and a place (and a potentially stylish outfit) to be made from nearly every kind of denim. Not the limited options those GenZ arbiters of “cool” would have you believe.   

Bear with me here… In an effort to sell the Average American Woman way more denim than she actually needs, fashion designers have left no trend—no cut, wash, rise or embellishment—untried over the past several decades. So which pair will look best on you is NOT going to be determined by some Instagram influencer. Rather, the most attractive pair will take into consideration your age, your body, your attitude, the occasion you’re dressing for, and perhaps most important, the rest of your outfit (top, shoes, etc.). 

End of hypothesis.

For example, cool or un-, I will never get rid of all of my skinny jeans. That’s because I have a considerable number of boots, and skinny jeans are the only jeans that will balance out an oversized top and tuck into tall boots. And in January, in Minnesota, a cozy bulky sweater, jeans and boots will never not be in style. 

BUT, that being said, I also have plenty of other denim styles in my rotation: flared jeans, baggy jeans, straight-leg, cropped, wide leg, distressed, embellished, hemmed and unhemmed, and the previously lauded flannel-lined jeans. 

Which pair I’m going to wear is dependent on all of those other factors mentioned above, but ALL are in the rotation and are an authentic part of my wardrobe. 

Curse of the Crop Top!

I think I speak for most women who have given birth or are over 35 when I say that we’re pretty much over the cropped-everything trend. Really, enough already! Yes, a cropped top can look nice—when paired with the right bottoms, but most people my age aren’t comfortable flashing their bellybutton outside of the gym or a beach.

Crop tops are definitely one of those styles that are tricky to manage if you’re older than 30 or have given birth—and the last couple of years it’s been nearly impossible to find tops that are both cute and work appropriate. So, if I’m wearing a shirt that is slightly cropped, I will pair it with mid- or high-rise jeans to compensate, keeping my bellybutton covered. Likewise, if I’m wearing a longer, tunic-style top, I want to pair that with minimal bulk around my waist. Yet I couldn’t always tell, by glancing at a pair, which jeans would work. Finding the right bottoms to wear with a specific top frustrated me, because—invariably—I would end up trying on several pairs each time, in search of the right fit. 

But this is where my jeanius idea comes in…

Necessity is the Mother of Invention 

That led me to my *new* labeling system for denim. I bought a pack of plastic size disks ($9.99 for 30 on Amazon) and labeled them by rise, length and style. Voila! I now can grab a pair and know exactly how they will fit, saving me time and irritation. (In retrospect, I could have done this with cardboard tags as well, which would have been a bit more environmentally friendly.)

While doing this may seem over-the-top, it’s already saved me more time than I spent making the labels. And I’m a BIG fan of anything that saves me time and frustration. So, I wanted to share this hack—in case any of you find it helpful (and can thereby validate that I’m actually “authentically clever” vs. just weirdly compulsive.) 🤣

(I ended this blog post with the laughing emoji, because that was declared uncool by GenZ around the same time as the skinny jeans and side parts… That Stormy is such a rebel.) 🤣🤣🤣

Authenticity Comes Out of the Closet

On By StormyIn Attitude, Fashion/beauty, Getting older1 Comment

Earlier I posted about how my goal this year was to be Authentic. Well, one aspect of my life that is coming under my personal authenticity scrutiny is my wardrobe. Like many of you, the last few years have been hard on it.

Pre-pandemic: Something for every occasion

I worked (mostly) in an office, took several business trips a year, took Pilates classes, had an average social life with one or two “fancy” events per year. My closet contents reflected this pretty well, with lots of wool skirts, cashmere sweaters and tights. (Did I mention it gets cold here?) 

Pandemic: What day is it?

Each morning, I woke up asking myself, what day is this? Our three-year Groundhog Day meant 90% of my wardrobe (and jewelry) remained untouched while the following were in heavy rotation (depending on the season):

  • Athleisure
  • Jeans (but only the comfy ones)
  • Shorts
  • T-shirts
  • Tank tops
  • Sundresses/t-shirt dresses

In the winter, I expanded my “outdoor” wardrobe, buying flannel-lined jeans, flannel-lined joggers and multiple hats (after living my whole life as someone who resisted winter hats due to my bangs). Just an aside here: If you live in a cold climate, flannel-lined pants are a game changer. If you like to go walking outside, buy them, you won’t regret it. 

And, as someone whose shoe collection consisted mostly of high heels and boots, I also bought more flats (sneakers and sandals). 

Post-Pandemic: Accepting that my old life is forever gone

KitKat wearing a blingy brunch outfit

As life has slowly returned to its “new normal,” I recognize that my go-forward lifestyle will probably never align with my pre-pandemic wardrobe. Over the last few years, I’ve offloaded quite a bit to Dress for Success, Goodwill and the local consignment shop, but there are still items in my closet that haven’t seen daylight since before the pandemic. Since I never quite know what lies ahead, I’m reluctant to give away too much. After all, you never know when KitKat might need to borrow something blingy for a Taylor Swift Drag Brunch! (Despite my low-key everyday appearance, I own a surprising number of sequins.) 

But what should my wardrobe look like? That is, what is my personal authentic style? I could heed the advice of the endless “How to dress over 50” articles that flood my FB feed, but as a content creator myself, I know that the people writing these articles are just aiming for clicks and so I give them no special credence. Most of them highlight do’s and don’ts that one must adhere to in order to “age gracefully.” Screw that. 

What does an Authentic Wardrobe look like, anyway?

If there is any benefit to growing older (and there is) it’s primarily this—not caring so much about others’ opinions. I don’t want to age gracefully; I want to age defiantly—which is another way of saying I want to be authentic, I guess.

When you hold onto these weird pants for years and voila you're invited to an art opening.

When you hold onto these weird pants for years, thinking “Will I ever wear these again?”

And voilà, an art show opening appears on your calendar.

Authenticity means that I have my own opinions about what I think looks good on me, and if it doesn’t meet the style standards of the fashion influencers, I don’t really care (that’s where the defiant part comes in). Case in point: Look at the red carpet photos for any Met Gala and you will always find plenty of celebrities wearing ridiculous outfits that were carefully curated and assembled by a team of stylists. But those who convey true style are invariably those who look most comfortable in their skin. So that’s what I’m trying to achieve… 

When my kids were growing up and immersed in the middle school culture of cliques—cool kids and wannabes, I explained that as you get older you realize that the coolest people are the ones who are too busy doing cool things to worry about whether they look or act cool. I have a weirdly shaped body—no really, I do!—that I have come to accept, but also must accommodate. For example, I have broad shoulders and a large ribcage, but small breasts (which rules out most button-down shirts or any top or blazer that is very fitted). I also have unusually wide feet, which means I will never buy ballet flats or penny loafers, even if I think they look cute on other people.

When I turned 40, I was more concerned with dressing appropriately for my age, but at this stage of my life, I pretty much know what works and what doesn’t (that’s the graceful part—I’m not going to fight Mother Nature). However, I will probably continue to wear overalls, camo prints, bikinis and cargo pants regardless of what’s in vogue or recommended for “women of a certain age.” So, I guess “gracefully defiant” is Stormy’s authentic style.

Do clothes make the (wo)man? Let’s choose substance over style.

On By StormyIn Attitude, Fashion/beauty, Politics, Random, Work/careers2 Comments

I recently came across a post on Facebook that I thought was interesting. A male newscaster wore a particular blue suit for a whole year to see if viewers would notice. Apparently, his female counterparts received fashion “advice” on a regular basis and he wanted to conduct an experiment on sexism and see whether it would register with viewers that he was wearing the same suit every day. Nobody noticed. I shared this on my wall and it caught the eye of my daughter Lucky, an outspoken feminist, as well as another friend who enjoys controversial debates. His comment, “A statement of equality. No men or women noticed.”

hey-girl-feminismI laughed at Mike’s smart-ass reply, but he raised a good point. It’s true that viewers routinely critiqued the women newscasters’ clothing, hair and make-up. But guess who was dishing out the criticism? Only the women viewers.

Why do we do this to each other? I’ve confessed to being a bit of a clothes horse myself and Lord knows I’m not perfect. I’ll admit that catty judgments on newscasters’ fashion choices have crossed my lips. But to be fair, I make equal-opportunity criticisms (“He needs a haircut.” “Look at that tie!”) and I’ve never been under the delusion that my opinion on their personal style reflects their ability to report the news in any way, and it would never enter my mind to send in a letter “correcting” their choices.

One woman who has received more than her fair share of fashion critiques is also one of the most accomplished women in our country: Hillary Clinton. A couple of years back, she created a small media firestorm over the fact that she appeared in public with glasses on and minimal make-up. Really? Why do we call this news? Hillary’s response to this was right on-target:

THIS is news?
THIS is news?

“I feel so relieved to be at the stage I’m at in my life right now,” the secretary of state told CNN Foreign Affairs Correspondent Jill Dougherty in an interview. “Because you know if I want to wear my glasses I’m wearing my glasses. If I want to wear my hair back I’m pulling my hair back. You know at some point it’s just not something that deserves a lot of time and attention.”

Since Hillary will likely be a much talked about (and much criticized) figure in the upcoming US presidential race—by men and women alike—I’d like to ask something of our readers. It’s not to vote for a particular candidate… I really don’t care if you vote for Hillary or not. Politically, I sit in the middle of the spectrum, and although I consider myself a feminist, I don’t think anyone should vote for a woman for president merely because she’s a woman. What I’m asking is this: As we move forward with the 2016 campaign, whether you vote for Hillary or not, please make your choices and your criticisms based on her experience, values and politics—not her hair, clothing or make-up. Ultimately, when you reduce another woman to nothing but her fashion choices, you minimize all of us and sometimes “it takes a village” to change societal perceptions.