As Stormy and I have referenced numerous times, it has been a tough winter. I have been working hard to keep up a positive attitude but my strength is frozen out of me. It is hard to be positive about anything in subzero temperatures. So in addition to being sick of the cold, I am getting sick of my own attitude.
Today, I got a text at work that my nanny couldn’t meet the kids after school. And like everything else lately, it threw me into a mood. With too much to do on my desk and now even less time to do it, I decided to just pack it up right away and try to work from home. In my haste, I forgot my gloves. This meant an even colder drive home while providing my mind more ammunition about how nothing is going right as my fingertips turned white.
I thought I might lose it. I wanted to park and cry. Or head to the airport to get on on a plane. I felt my eyes well up … and at that same moment, I saw Bachman’s, a local flower and garden store. I took a sharp left into the lot.
Walking in the door I was surrounded by intense colors and scents. I am not a gardener nor into flowers normally. I could name only the most common. But it was an incredible sensation leaving the white, frigid outside for this warm floral haven. It was like a drug. An instant mood lifter. I am sure some of the other shoppers thought I was a bit “off.” Wandering circles in one small area, wearing a smile and inhaling deeply. The warmth and reminders of spring refueled me. It was lifting me out of the helpless despair I had been feeling myself sinking into.
With time running short but not ready to give up this new fix. I bought myself flowers. I even said yes when they asked if I needed them wrapped as a gift. Why shouldn’t I present myself with flowers as they should be given.
Getting flowers from myself felt as good as, if not better than, receiving them from anyone else. I certainly owed myself something nice after all the abuse I have been giving myself lately. (In addition to affecting your mood, winter isn’t great on the looks either.) With still some time before chaos arrived home, I poured a glass of wine and opened up a spring fashion magazine and sat in front of my flowers.
Finding a little spring, seeing some beauty, feeling some hope and doing something for myself was all it took. A quick fix to a long winter. Maybe next week I should send myself flowers to work.