When I first heard about The Barbie Movie, I wasn’t that interested—a movie about Barbie dolls? Unlike KitKat, who grew up with sisters and played with Barbies a lot, I never even had an actual Barbie doll…My sisters were 9-17 years older; so if they had any Barbies, they would have resembled “weird Barbie” by the time I came along. I envied my friends who had a whole cache of Barbies and a case for her clothes. To have the Corvette or Dream House would have been a luxury I couldn’t even envision. As the eighth child surrounded by boys, rusty Tonka Trucks were in good supply, but not many dolls—let alone fashion dolls.

At that point in my tender youth, when everyone was still courting skin cancer in search of The Savage Tan, Malibu Barbie was It. I desperately wanted one, but the closest I ever got was Malibu P.J. (Google it: PJ was one of Barbie’s transitory friends, although she was never mentioned in the movie.) This sums up my youth in a nutshell. If something was cool or popular, I probably didn’t have that thing. But I usually, eventually, acquired a less popular, less expensive version of The Popular Thing instead. Sigh. What a tragic childhood. I’m sure this has left deep scars…but I think it also reinforced my tendency to occasionally buck the trends, and I believe a little nonconformity is good for a person, so it all balances out… 

Anyway, back to our story. 

As a marketer, I was impressed with the promotion of the movie—I had never seen such a thorough marketing campaign for a movie. The number of clever cross-promotions was staggering, a true Master Class. But I still had no interest in seeing a movie about Barbie dolls. 

That is, until the reviews started rolling in. And angry MAGA types started bashing the movie. Now I was intrigued. The week it opened, I met KitKat on the pickleball court. She mentioned she had seen The Barbie Movie the night before. “I loved it!” she exclaimed. “You’ve gotta see it.” We talked a little about how it showed men’s and women’s roles (with no spoilers), and I agreed that it sounded like something I’d enjoy. 

As we were playing pickleball that day, we noticed an older guy (late 60s/early 70s perhaps?) “teaching” his friend/girlfriend/wife how to play. He stood showing her how to hold the racquet, serving ball after ball for her to hit in a rote manner, constantly “correcting her” and  never letting her actually “play.” Pickleball is not a difficult sport to learn and even our professional instructor let KitKat and me play during our first paid lesson. We felt bad for this woman.

Later that week, Oskar and I went to a matinee of Barbie. We both enjoyed the movie and thought it was thought-provoking. I told him about our pickleball observation which directly relates to one scene in the movie. Afterward, I read a few more reviews [Bill Maher: INSERT EYEROLL HERE] and my overall takeaway was that while the patriarchy is exaggerated somewhat for effect in the movie—many men think it’s GREATLY exaggerated, while other men and most women realize it’s only SLIGHTLY exaggerated. 

After I had seen the movie, KitKat and I were back on the pickleball court playing a fierce game of singles when the same aforementioned gentleman, who was on the adjacent court giving his partner another “lesson” approached us, offering a neon yellow pickleball. “You’re playing with an indoor ball,” he told us. “This is an outdoor ball. Try it, it will work better.” 

Now, Dear Readers, KitKat and I were playing with an outdoor ball. Sure, it was a different brand and a different color, but I had previously confirmed that it was an outdoor ball, and we had been playing happily and successfully with it for weeks. 

So, I told Mansplaining Pickleball Guy that the ball we were using was, in fact, an outdoor ball. He took it from me, regarded it skeptically, bounced it, then bounced his ball, and handed me both balls. “Just try this one,” he said dismissively, “I think you’ll find it’s better.” Then he walked away to continue his lesson with his friend/girlfriend/wife. KitKat and I looked at each other: “WTF was that?” We shrugged and then played one game with the new ball. Afterward, we went back to our original ball just to make a point. 

Back to life off the court… I knew my daughter Lucky would enjoy The Barbie Movie, so I invited her for a lunch date. There were so many layers to the film that I was happy to see it a second time. As predicted, she loved the movie as entertainment—Lucky was a film major in college, so she really appreciated the various techniques, set design, costuming, etc., that went into the production. (It IS a visually stunning movie, even for those of us without a film degree.)

Afterward, Lucky and I were eating vegan burgers and dissecting the plot. Both my daughters are strong feminists, and Lucky’s feeling was that it was a little too soft on our patriarchal society (because the Ken’s in the film were made to be kind of lovable and goofy). Her criticism is that a lot of misogyny is really evil at its root—a calculated effort to control women. But as someone who has seen improvements over the past 50-something years, I think it’s more complex than that. I believe our society is still deeply patriarchal, but that much of it stems from tradition and ignorance vs. maliciousness. Don’t get me wrong, misogynistic maliciousness absolutely exists and is running rampant within our politics at present; still, I like to think that people always have the capacity for change and growth.

At our next PB game, I shared Lucky’s “review” with KitKat, who brought up that the Ken characters were being true to Ken’s nature as an accessory in Barbie’s life, which I thought was also an astute observation. Anyway, if you haven’t seen the movie, I’ve given away nothing of the plot, so please go see it and let me know what you think. 

Meanwhile, I want to circle back to my earlier assessment of how many men think the patriarchy is GREATLY exaggerated in the movie, while other men and most women realize it’s only SLIGHTLY exaggerated and wrap up this discussion with my analysis of Mansplaining Pickleball Guy: 

Do I believe this man had ill intent in approaching us with his wrongful perception that we were using an indoor ball to play outside? No. Do I think he was trying to be “helpful”? Yes. Did KitKat and I feel compelled to at least “try” his ball? Yes. Did I go home and re-verify that our original ball was an outdoor ball (even though I knew it was), because his surety made me doubt my own knowledge? Yes. (I am embarrassed to confess that I literally counted the 40 holes.) 

But here’s the most important question: Would Mansplaining Pickleball Guy EVER have approached two 50-something-year-old MEN playing a competitive game of singles to correct them on their ball choice? And furthermore, assume they were using an incorrect ball from a distance of 50 feet away? The answer is NEVER, EVER, EVER. And if you think otherwise, you’re lying to yourself. 

I’m grateful to Greta Gerwig, Margot Robbie, Ryan Gosling and the rest of the cast and production crew for The Barbie Movie for bringing this story to life in such an entertaining way, while giving all of us something to think about—and more importantly, something to work toward.