In which Stormy learns that some of her siblings can’t bring themselves to condemn overt Nazi signals.

HOW ARE WE DOING?

This has been a terribly difficult week for anyone grounded in reality with a love for democracy and humanity. I’ve talked to some people who have chosen to stay away from the news for their mental health (which I totally respect). Others are doom-scrolling and sinking into despair. 

Rather than abstain from the news, I gave myself one week to monitor Trump’s pardons and initial Executive Orders (EOs), as well as the media, legal system, and Congress’s response to those actions. If you’ve been doing the same, then you know that things look pretty bleak. Now that the pattern is apparent (rolling out Project 2025), I’m going to spend way less time worrying about the news and more time advocating for those people who are casualties of his policies.

Foremost in my thoughts this week has been my large, extended family. Some of whom are directly threatened by Trump’s Executive Orders and some of whom (to my great sadness and dismay) actually voted for Trump or are defending his policies. I have eight siblings, mostly conservative Boomers. While I knew that only one sister actively opposed Trump and that others didn’t like the man but agreed with many of his policies, I had not taken the political pulse of my family in quite some time. If I’m being honest, it’s because I wanted to believe that all of the criminal cases against Trump would have changed their view of the man. I mean, they couldn’t actually vote for a convicted felon, a convicted rapist… would they? This week I got my answer.

I sent an email to my sibs, expressing dismay at Trump’s reaction to Episcopalian Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde, who pleaded with him to have compassion on marginalized individuals living in fear due to Trump’s EOs. Trump and many other so-called Christians attacked her for preaching what is quite literally the gospel of Jesus Christ. I asked my sibs (who I know were all raised Christian like me) whether they could defend his actions. 

My brother responded by completely twisting the issue, employing the classic MAGA tactic of Deflection by Defamation, “So the Bishop is against stopping the influx of illegal children being smuggled into this country by the cartels and being sold into sex and labor slavery?” Child sex trafficking, of course, was not the topic of the Bishop’s sermon. He couldn’t seriously address my question. I believe Christians have a responsibility to try and hold other Christians accountable for their behavior—which is what Bishop Budde was doing with Trump and what I was doing with my siblings, but both had the same results.

Then, I tried reasoning with my family about the inherent danger of pardoning violent offenders, many of whom assaulted law enforcement and/or were promising retribution. From both a brother and sister, I got the MAGA “whataboutism” response that ignored my question and redirected it. Comparing apples and oranges. 

But the conversation that broke me this week started with my MAGA brother trying to convince me that Musk’s Nazi salutes were examples of him “throwing out love from his heart” to the crowd… which is a pretty ridiculous take when you look at the defiant triumphant smirk on Musk’s face. Yeah, that’s love alright… Love of fascism.

Let’s be clear, this gesture was followed by a sentence that said, “My heart goes out to you. It is thanks to you, that the future of civilization is assured.“ Given Trump doesn’t believe in combatting climate change, it’s pretty easy to see what Musk’s talking about there.

To bolster his argument, my brother also included still photos of various Democrats with their arm in the air, using another one of MAGA’s favorite tactics—false equivalency.

Of course, if Musk truly had made a gesture that was misinterpreted, he could just explain that, right? I mean, since he posts dozens of times a day on X. However, he never issued clarification statement and instead chose to mock those showing concern by making a bunch of Nazi puns. (You can’t make this shit up.) So, in that exchange, I got to learn that my brother thinks Nazi’s are okay. 

Later, I found a 2023 clip from a Tesla conference where Musk literally makes a gesture of showing love from his heart and—no surprise here—it looks nothing like his Nazi salute from this week. 

I sent this out to my siblings to further my case. My sister responded by saying that the Anti-Defamation League disagreed that it was a Nazi salute. (If you’ve been following this, you know that they initially gave him benefit of the doubt —which is not the same as disagreeing—but that statement received an enormous amount of backlash. Once Musk refused started making bad Nazi puns, they responded more forcefully. She also blamed his neurodiversity. Now, I know quite a few people who are on the spectrum—heck, my daughter Lucky thinks I may be—but exactly 0% of them “accidentally” give Nazi salutes.

Despite explaining this to my sibs, nobody admitted, “You’re right, it looks like he may be a Nazi…my bad.” Instead, several of them accused me of hate, cyber-bullying, and making them feel demeaned by bringing up these uncomfortable topics in the first place. (Sigh.)

Apparently, saying that it’s wrong to make apologies for Nazi behavior is worse than… actual Nazi behavior. 

My beloved, dear old dad was a WWII veteran, so seeing his children minimize a Nazi salute breaks my heart. And yet I know that seeing his kids argue would break his heart. I’m at a loss, though, of how to move forward. I’ve told my sibs that I love them, but I won’t stay silent about important issues for the sake of family harmony. That wasn’t a winning strategy in 1930s Germany, and it’s not a good strategy today.

As a result of all this, I don’t expect much interaction with my siblings in the months or years ahead. I’ve told them that if they break their way out of the cult, I’ll be the first to celebrate with them, but today I simply don’t see that happening. Thankfully, I DO have one sister who shares my views on Trump, and she has been a literal lifesaver to me over the last decade. (Rock on, Barbigrrrrl!) I also have scores of nieces and nephews who understand the dangers of MAGA and are trying to navigate their own strained and complicated relationships with their parents and some cousins. So my extended family isn’t gone from my life, it’s just contracted a bit.

I know that many of you have had similarly heart-breaking conversations this week… I wanted to let you know you’re not alone. But I also want to remind you that only 32% of eligible voters actually voted for Trump. He does not have a mandate to do the things he is doing, so it’s critical that everyone who opposes him be brave and vocal about what’s happening, so as not to normalize or meekly accept any of this. 

When people who have been warning against Trump for years suddenly go quiet, then the people around them start wondering, “If they’re worried about retribution or being identified as ‘anti-Trump,’ maybe I should be scared too?” And that, in a nutshell, is how fascists gain power. Therefore, I’m asking you from the bottom of my heart (note to insert correct emoji vs. Heil Hitler: 🫶🏻)… Do not let the fascists win.