Category: Politics

We’re not all on the same page, but we should be on the same side.

On By StormyIn Attitude, PoliticsLeave a comment

This weekend, I stepped into a firestorm of political commentary on Bluesky, and it left me feeling depressed and more than a little frustrated. 

No, I’m not talking about MAGA trolls telling me that school shootings aren’t caused by guns. (Okay, in truth there was a little of that… but since that’s “business-as-usual” for the cult, I’m used to their BS.)

No, this firestorm of attacks actually came from the Far Left, after I disagreed with this post: 

Bluesky post that reads, "Newsom is proof that if Trump was more clean cut and well spoken liberals wouldn't have a problem with Trump

I explained my reasoning by saying: “Newsom’s methods aren’t perfect, but he’s out there, every day, actively fighting. I respect that and am not going to waste my time criticizing those who are trying to oust MAGA, simply because their priorities don’t align with mine 100% of the time.”

NOTE THE FOLLOWING TWO ADMISSIONS IN MY STATEMENT ABOVE:

  • I acknowledged Newsom’s methods aren’t perfect.
  • I said his priorities don’t align with mine 100%.

Nonetheless, my comment led to an incredible number of accusations: That I’m “Blue MAGA,” anti-trans, anti-homeless and pro-genocide! Despite the fact that I never stated that I thought Newsom should be the next candidate for president, just that I appreciated how he was getting under Trump’s skin. And then, when I explained to a self-identified communist that I had a daughter from a communist country and was therefore not a fan of communism, I also got branded as a ”child trafficker” as well… Fun times on the interwebs!

First, I want to address the “We didn’t vote for Harris because she supports genocide” crowd, since they came at me in full force. I’ll summarize my take on that as briefly as I can by saying that most Americans don’t pay very close attention to foreign conflicts and are generally pretty illiterate about global affairs. So when Hamas attacked Israel and took hostages, the general population’s immediate reaction was that Israel was justified in retaliating.

Now over time, I believe more and more people have come to realize that Israel’s relentless attacks on innocent Palestinians have waaay overstepped any semblance of a justifiable response, and many now understand that what’s happening in Gaza is genocide. However, I don’t think that distinction was widely understood by the voting public in the months leading up to the election. 

So, knowing that Trump had many pro-Israel supporters, Biden/Harris were walking a fine line with a country that has historically been considered a long-time ally. They understood that if Trump was elected, he would give free rein to Israel, because he was best buds with Bibi and had made previous comments about how the Gaza strip was ripe for real estate development. 

Consequently, it should have been clear that Harris was somewhat hamstrung during the election. However, it also should have been clear that after defeating Trump, she would have begun negotiating with Netanyahu to end the conflict. Everything about Kamala Harris and her documented past, shows her to be an intelligent, reasonable and compassionate person vs. someone who would condone genocide. But Harris’s first priority was to get elected and secure democracy—so that she would have the necessary power to enact those other priorities. 

As I tried to explain this, one Bluesky poster commented, “You’re advocating the lesser of two evils… Why do we have to choose evil at all?” But this is an erroneous assumption: Trump is evil. Kamala Harris is not. She is a good person, although admittedly not perfect. And if the choice is between “Evil” and “Good-but-Imperfect,” we should choose the latter every time. 

Unfortunately, those who didn’t understand the complexity of the situation opted not to vote for her and influenced others not to as well. In my opinion, they are largely responsible for the current mess we’re in—whether they care to own that fact or not—but pointing fingers isn’t helping anyone at this stage in the game.

And that brings me back to my main point. 

While nearly all rational, compassionate people are in agreement that MAGA is bad and Trump is evil (not only dangerous for Palestinians, but also everyone else); there is very little agreement about how best to replace him. From my perspective, there seems to be two lines of thinking:

The Burn The Whole Thing Down Crowd – Those who think we need to support a leader who can lead the charge to abolish any semblance of our former government and create an entirely new system, one that more closely resembles socialism/communism. They are big on imposing purity tests, but not in agreement about what’s “pure.”

The Bring Back Democracy Crowd – Those who think we need to support whichever Democratic leader is most electable, so we can shore up our democracy and continue to move in a more progressive direction from there. 

It’s probably obvious to you that I’m in the latter camp. Here’s why… In the current administration all of the following are under attack:

  • Black and brown people
  • Immigrants (documented and undocumented)
  • Women (particularly those of child-bearing age)
  • Victims of sexual assault/pedophilia
  • Poor people
  • LGBTQ individuals
  • Those who rely on food assistance
  • Those who rely on healthcare subsidies
  • Those with conditions reliant on medical research
  • Children who are exposed to measles and other preventable diseases
  • Children who are exposed to gun violence (another preventable “disease” in this country)
  • Those susceptible to another pandemic (aka: everyone)
  • Anyone who relies on science-based healthcare (aka: everyone)
  • Organizations dependent on govt. funding
  • State programs dependent on govt. funding
  • Employees of the Federal Govt. who have been fired or are currently working in a hostile environment
  • Those whose business interests are impacted by tariffs and the economy (such as farmers)
  • Those who business interests are impacted by immigrant labor (such as farmers)
  • Those whose purchasing power is impacted by tariffs and inflation
  • Students dependent on financial aid
  • Those seeking affordable housing/the homeless
  • People directly impacted by climate-change related events (wildfires, flooding)
  • Free speech
  • Documented history
  • Literature
  • Our planet
  • … I’m sure I missed some others, but I think I’ve made my point. 
Meme graphic from the movie "Don't Look Up" where Jennifer Lawrence is saying, "There's a 100% chance that we're all going to die!"

But even with this non-comprehensive list, you can see that literally EVERYONE is under attack in this country and the negative impacts are global. (Ironically, even the tech-bros and billionaires are at risk from things like pandemics and climate change, but apparently they think they can avoid them by building rocket ships, as in the movie Don’t Look Up.)

Yet, it’s undeniable that some people are more impacted than others. Personally, I am fortunate—privileged—to be less impacted than a lot of people. But the fact that I’m less impacted than some others doesn’t make me the enemy. And this is what frustrates me about my conversations with the Far Left this weekend. We all know that once MAGA is ousted, there will be a lot of things to fix. But they don’t seem to realize that it won’t happen all at once. As much as we’d all like an instantaneous fix, issues will need to be prioritized—and not everyone will agree on that prioritization.

And it’s absolutely critical that we don’t confuse a lack of consensus, as it relates to priorities, with a lack of support. Those who aren’t severely impacted by any single issue themselves may approach recovery based on what policies impact the most people—and prioritize things like healthcare, food assistance, global war and climate change as a result. Like doctors in an ER, I think of recovery in terms of triage. Yet, others may look at their immediate situation and prioritize the issues that directly impact them or their loved ones: gun control, immigration, immunization, LGBTQ rights, cancer research, etc. 

One of these approaches isn’t more “correct” than the other. It’s natural for people to focus on their survival as well as their loved ones. And any activities that protect people’s rights and safeguard our planet are valid and worthy of support. 

I was especially hurt by those who branded me as anti-trans, because I consider myself an ally and won’t hesitate to speak out against trans bigotry. However, will prioritizing trans rights be my number one criterion in choosing a political candidate? Likely no. Mainly because the numbers impacted are so small compared to some of the others that are also under attack. But even more urgent, from my perspective, is ensuring Democrats have the power to enact change, which is why electability will be my first priority, and shoring up democracy will be second. By definition, Democrats believe in protecting the rights of all Americans. So, I trust that that commitment will extend to trans individuals and all other targeted groups, once we are back in control of policy-making… But getting back in control is Job #1.

Here’s one last analogy that I hope will illustrate my point: As readers of this blog know, my husband Oskar has had Parkinson’s Disease for many years (23, to be exact). It’s a difficult disease for him to live with, especially at this advanced stage, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Because of the impact this disease has on our lives, my husband and I donate money to the Michael J. Fox Foundation to support research and we would love to see a cure. 

Now, do I demand that everyone else contribute to Parkinson’s research? No. I realize that there are other diseases or medical conditions that other people may feel more strongly about, depending on what they or their loved ones are experiencing. Alzheimer’s, cancer, heart disease—all of these receive more research funding than Parkinson’s. Why? Because they impact more people. And likewise, Parkinson’s receives more funding than scores of other, more obscure diseases. Is that fair? Not really. Do people with those rare diseases also deserve to find a cure? Of course they do!

That’s why if someone chooses to prioritize donating to another cause over Parkinson’s research, I would never accuse them of being “anti-Parkinson’s” or think that they want my husband to suffer. That would be ridiculous. If MJF researchers discovered a cure tomorrow, I’m sure most people would rejoice right alongside me. 

Graphic drawing of a man sitting on a tree, cutting the branch he is sitting on (illustrating the concept of "self-sabotaging behavior").

Yet, when it comes to our political environment, there are far too many people giving “purity tests” to other opposing MAGA to gauge their commitment to a particular cause. And then they’re interpreting a difference in how someone prioritizes the issues as evidence of being indifferent to their suffering—or even worse, as being responsible for their suffering. Purity tests are useless because human beings will rarely agree on the same prioritization of complex issues. Insisting on alignment is self-sabotaging because it blurs the distinction between those who simply want to address another important issue before your cause, with those who actively want to do us harm. Let’s stop the in-fighting and focus on what really matters. We must work together to replace the current administration with a functioning Democracy before this most deadly disease—MAGA ideology—kills us all.

Is the problem guns or mental illness?

On By StormyIn Attitude, Children, Faith, PoliticsLeave a comment

The answer is “Yes”!

KitKat lives down the street from the horrific shooting at Annunciation School and Church yesterday. We were scheduled to play pickleball at 11, and she texted me in the morning to tell me there was a live shooter at the school. Since KitKat works from home, she could hear constant sirens as multiple cop cars and ambulances were racing to the scene. 

View of Annunciation School and church with multiple police cars and officers outside.
Courtesy NBC News

I had just called her to learn more when her phone started blowing up with messages from friends and family calling to see if she was okay. She told me all her doors were locked, blinds drawn, etc., and said she’d call me back.

I hung up and immediately went to BlueSky to see if I could find out more as the shooting was happening in real time. One post caught my eye. It said something like, “Another school shooting. This time in Minneapolis. Just another Wednesday in America.”

Very soon thereafter, it was confirmed that the shooter was dead. I breathed a sigh of relief that KitKat wasn’t in danger. But for the families involved, the tragedy was still unfolding as parents arrived at the school to learn whether their child had been shot.

An hour or two later, I drove over to KitKat’s house (four miles from my home) to see how she was doing. KitKat’s youngest is a senior at a private school and her school went into lockdown as well. Meanwhile, my three kids have all made it safely through school and college—something that I don’t take for granted. (Well, Blossom is currently in vet school, but she’s in another country where shootings aren’t routine.) 

KitKat was still shaken to her core, even though she and her daughter were both “safe.” She worried about which of her neighbor kids may have been injured or worse. She felt the terror the other parents were going through. Of course, her reaction was totally normal, since this kind of incident could trigger PTSD for any parent. 

Me, I didn’t feel sadness, so much as anger. This trauma and pain is avoidable. We are the ONLY country in the world that has this issue. Every other civilized country has figured it out. The solution for eliminating mass shootings is not rocket science. Other countries have done it successfully, and all we have to do is follow their example. The solution is sensible gun control. We can still allow citizens to have hunting rifles and handguns to protect their homes and property, but in a controlled and monitored way so that instruments of mass death don’t fall into the hands of the wrong people. It’s a no-brainer, and yet we continue to make excuses while more children die.

Which brings me to my next point: Excuses. Online, a gun-rights advocate was telling me that guns aren’t the issue, mental illness is. Specifically, he posted, “The root cause is that person was sick and mentally unwell. They could have drove a car into a crowded area. You are making this about politics.”

Okay, let’s unpack that mental illness excuse a bit. 

First off, other countries have mentally ill people. But they don’t have rampant gun violence. As I pointed out to the online poster, a gun is a much more efficient killing machine than a car, a knife, or a blunt object—and it is designed solely for that purpose. That makes it uniquely deadly and without any other utility (such as an airplane) that helps to justify its existence or accessibility. (And, let me mention here that I could have added that cars and planes are pretty well-regulated, but I left that part out.) So, yes, I am adamant that guns are still the root cause of mass shootings. A mentally ill person that is hell-bent on taking out others can do much more damage, more quickly, with an easily accessible gun than they can with other easily accessible objects. 

Now let’s talk about mental illness itself. It very well may be that we have greater numbers of mentally ill people than other countries. I wouldn’t doubt it. The pandemic launched a mental health crisis in this country that we have yet to recover from, and record numbers of young people are experiencing anxiety, depression and self-harm. There have been several causes identified: the pandemic, increased social media use, etc., but I think the real cause is more sinister and pervasive. I believe it’s because so many people lack confidence in a viable future.

When I was a child and teenager, my worldview was formed by my family, teachers, religious leaders, the law, media and society. That worldview went something like this: 

  • Family: My parents want the best for me. My siblings care about me.
  • Teachers: My teachers want me to succeed and get a good education, so I can get a decent job and be a functioning member of society.
  • Religious Leaders: God/Jesus loves me and wants me to live a good life in the service of others.
  • The Law: Police are there to help me if something bad happens. The legal system is uncorrupt, “no man is above the law,” and justice will ultimately prevail. 
  • Media: The media is honest and journalists have integrity.
  • Society: Most adults are trustworthy and smart. They know what to do and can be trusted to do the right thing. Americans love their country and will defend freedom and the rights of others.

Yes, you can see from this worldview that I had a pretty privileged upbringing, and I realize not everyone has had that experience. However, I think most of us grew up generally believing that the adults in charge actually knew what they were doing and were generally acting responsibly.

As I got older, of course, I realized that wasn’t always the case. But that realization dawned on me gradually—until 2016, when it hit me like a ton of bricks: Donald Trump was so obviously an arrogant idiot, and yet, enough people believed in him to actually elect him as president?! This shook up my worldview. But by this time, I was already 50—an adult with a fully formed brain, an MBA, healthcare coverage and significant savings. In other words, I had resources to cope.

And then came the pandemic, J6, George Floyd, the 2024 election… I witnessed many, many adults that I previously would have considered decent people do the indecent thing. I saw people refuse to wear a mask to protect their neighbors. I saw people refuse to get vaccinated so our country could return to normal. I saw neighbors spread disinformation. I saw people I went to high school with make racist and homophobic remarks about others. I saw siblings defend rioters and killers. Online, I saw a cop—casually kneeling on a man’s neck while he struggled to breathe—and saw many other people defending that heinous action. I know adults who elected a rapist. Adults that voted for people who pose with semi-automatic rifles on their Christmas card, while children continue to get gunned down in school. I saw too many religious leaders (thankfully, none of my own) subverting Christ’s message about loving thy neighbor and instead preaching condemnation and dominion over others. 

All of this has been very difficult and painful to reconcile, but I’ve sadly and slowly come to the conclusion that there are far fewer decent people in this world (or at least our country) than I had previously believed. Still, I have a lot more life experience with which to process this information than the average teenager or young adult.   

So now, let’s look at the US through the lens of that young person whose brain is still developing: What they are seeing is a deeply divided country. Adults who aren’t trust-worthy being put in charge. Technology that is advancing far more quickly than our ability to put guardrails around it. Uncertainty regarding what is actually human or AI when interacting online. Billionaires being exempted from paying taxes while the number of homeless grows. The media openly lies despite lawsuits. Government leaders lie while under oath. Parents and classmates who align politically with those who advocate harm for their immigrant classmates. The Supreme Court is rolling back rights for women and LGBTQ people. Out-of-control housing costs and inflation that will make it impossible to have a decent standard of living once they are out on their own. Corporate CEOs sacrificing our planet for greed. Widespread confusion about which careers will even be viable five or ten years from now. 

Our country is a shit-show. It’s no wonder that many young people have a nihilistic, angry view of the world. I do, too, frankly. As I mentioned earlier, I just have better coping mechanisms. The difference is that young people have only seen the chaos. Whereas, I know that a lot of it can be fixed. Not everything, sadly (particularly as it pertains to our climate), but a lot of it. And yes, it will take a long time to set things right, but I can see a better future out there for them—and for all of us—if we just work together to achieve it. 

This is what young people so desperately need: Belief in a better future and confidence that the adults who surround them will work alongside them to help secure it. Getting MAGA out of office and appropriately taxing billionaires will allow us to get this country back on track, but we can’t wait for someone else to fix the problem.

Until we all commit to securing that better future, the lethal combination of mental illness and accessible firearms will continue to devastate our communities. 

The Case for a General Strike

On By StormyIn Money, Politics, Work/careersLeave a comment

Yesterday I participated in a Zoom meeting with a thousand other concerned citizens and our two Democratic senators. I am proud to live in blue Minnesota, home of Tim Walz (the man so many wish was our VP right now), and I was encouraged by how many people were taking time out of their workday to participate in the call on short notice. Less encouraging, however, were some of the takeaways from the call.

Both senators basically said that they are doing all they could to slow and block cabinet nominations and they encouraged everyone to keep fighting and to report stories of how these decisions are impacting people to keep the pressure on and provide ample documentation for lawsuits. However, they (and their staff representatives) also admitted that they had limited control in stopping the chaos since the Republicans have a trifecta of power right now. 

It’s clear by the comments posted in the chat that there are a lot of angry people who are feeling helpless to affect any kind of change. Too many of the questions coming from individuals were looking for a savior to get us out of this mess: “Why isn’t anyone stopping them? ““What are you doing about this?” “Who’s in charge of a strategy?”

Here’s the bad news: It’s up to us.

And here’s the good news: It’s up to us. 

Nobody has to feel helpless, because we all have the ability to do SOMETHING and something imperfectly executed is far better than a well-planned NOTHING. There is no single “leader” in all of this. Everyone needs to step up as best they can and give others the grace to be imperfect. Time is of the essence—we can’t “wait” for things to get better. We need to do what we can now. 

However, I firmly believe we need to focus our efforts a bit. First, I would stop making pleas to your MAGA acquaintances to have a little compassion. That train has left the station. They don’t care if trans people feel persecuted. They don’t care if immigrants are scared. The MAGA supporters have shown us that they don’t really care about other people and they’re going so far as to distort Christianity in order to justify their Christian Nationalist agenda. 

Of course, it’s important for us to protect and help all of those coming under attack, but we shouldn’t waste our energy trying to persuade Trump supporters to do the same. Appealing to their better angels is useless as long as they are immersed in the MAGA cult. A far better alternative is to hit them where it hurts them personally—their income—which is why I think that those who are interested in protecting democracy should seriously consider participating in a GENERAL STRIKE. 

What is a General Strike?

Basically, everyone who can refuses to go to work or to purchase anything for a period of time. This BBC article shows that it only takes 3.5% of the population (which would be 11 million Americans) to be successful. So, the greater the participation, the shorter the amount of time that would be needed to succeed. While these strikes are often combined with protests, I think that protests are not the best idea in the current environment (more on that below). 

How can something this big get organized effectively? 

The Women’s March in 2020 was a successful grassroots effort that came together by smaller groups and individuals aligning with the organizers. The same could happen in this instance if enough people put aside their individual ideas about how things “should” work and join onto the efforts of one common organizer. It’s not critical that everyone align on every single point. The important thing is to stop this illegal power grab and insist upon enforcing the constitutional process that is supposed to protect our democracy.

There is already a movement called generalstrikeus.com that is beginning to gather information on how to proceed. You can start by signing up there. I have no ties to this organization, but think it makes sense to leverage their infrastructure and website since it’s already in place. While their current list of demands is very broad (and in my mind, unrealistic), it was put together before this crisis and ultimately the various participating partner groups would have to work together to determine timing and demands.

What if I can’t afford to risk losing my job by not showing up? 

This is the most common concern. First of all, we know that people have to provide for those who are dependent on them and some people have jobs that the public depends on (like an ER doctor). But oftentimes people have more leverage here than they think. Do you have sick time or vacation time you could use? Consider how difficult or easy it would be for your employer to replace you quickly. Also consider your employer’s/boss’s personal feelings about what is happening. They may be supportive of you striking because it may be the quickest solution to solving something that could have even longer-term economic impact for their business. 

Likewise, think about the long-term economic impact of these illegal actions on your own personal finances. When you consider the financial burdens being created by tariffs; threats to health insurance and homeowner’s coverage; and the potential insolvency of social security, can you really afford not to participate? 

After considering all of the above, if you decide you can’t personally afford to miss work, you can still help the cause by urging friends and family to participate and by promoting it on social media. Nearly everyone can participate by not buying anything (except absolute necessities) for the duration of the strike. Those who are unemployed or retired can help too, by spreading the word or offering childcare to essential workers (like emergency personnel). 

How do I not buy anything? 

Remember the impact of the early pandemic when businesses were shut down without notice? This had a hugely negative affect on businesses very quickly. Likewise, if a large number of us refraining from spending any money (going out to eat, buying non-necessities, etc.) will have the same effect. Nobody expects you to forego basic food or medicine, but limiting what’s purchased during the strike is important, so if you can prepare ahead of time for the necessities, that will help. (Important note: Preparing ahead of time doesn’t mean “stocking up” on a bunch of non-critical items—businesses need to see a DROP in overall income for a strike to be effective, not just a small cashflow/timing difference.)

The good news is, most of us already have experience with this due to surviving all the supply chain issues during the pandemic! 

Why not protest?

Although there are lots of protests happening around the country, I think one very large protest would be detrimental to the overall cause for three reasons. 

  1. It would bring out the extreme crazies who are looking for violence (Proud Boys, etc.)
  2. I firmly believe that Trump wouldn’t hesitate to declare martial law or to order the military or law enforcement to fire on civilians. 
  3. It exposes immigrants to ICE arrests. 

A general strike will have a similar impact of grinding things to a halt without putting any individual at risk of violence or deportation. 

What about retaliation? 

Being scared of retaliation is a real concern, but all I can do is urge everyone to rise above it. There IS strength in numbers and every time a single person raises their voice, it gives others courage to do the same. Don’t short-change the importance of that. Think of all the prominent people—actors, comedians, musicians, professional athletes—who have been very vocal in their opposition against Trump. These are people who have a lot to lose and are very visible in their dissent. If they can do it, so can you. We simply need to step up and be the heroes our children and grandchildren deserve.

The Big Win

I’m saving the best for last, and that’s the long-term impact of a general strike. Elon Musk is the richest and arguably most powerful person in the world right now. Yet, even he can’t singlehandedly keep millions of Americans in their place if we band together to do this. And when we succeed at stopping him in his tracks, it will PROVE ONCE AND FOR ALL TO EVERYONE ACROSS THE GLOBE that average people, working together, wield the real power. This will be a critical moment in turning back the authoritarian tide that has been sweeping so many countries and will let oligarchs know that they can’t escape the law. And that’s when we can finally start making headway toward addressing climate change, equity for all, and global peace.

Please join the effort here: https://generalstrikeus.com

In addition, help spread the word…If you belong to any other groups on FB, Reddit, Discord, Bluesky, etc. where people are voicing concerns about what they can do, please share this. The more organizations that get on board quickly, the sooner we can stop the destruction.

Week One of the New Regime

On By StormyIn Faith, Family, Politics, RelationshipsLeave a comment

In which Stormy learns that some of her siblings can’t bring themselves to condemn overt Nazi signals.

HOW ARE WE DOING?

This has been a terribly difficult week for anyone grounded in reality with a love for democracy and humanity. I’ve talked to some people who have chosen to stay away from the news for their mental health (which I totally respect). Others are doom-scrolling and sinking into despair. 

Rather than abstain from the news, I gave myself one week to monitor Trump’s pardons and initial Executive Orders (EOs), as well as the media, legal system, and Congress’s response to those actions. If you’ve been doing the same, then you know that things look pretty bleak. Now that the pattern is apparent (rolling out Project 2025), I’m going to spend way less time worrying about the news and more time advocating for those people who are casualties of his policies.

Foremost in my thoughts this week has been my large, extended family. Some of whom are directly threatened by Trump’s Executive Orders and some of whom (to my great sadness and dismay) actually voted for Trump or are defending his policies. I have eight siblings, mostly conservative Boomers. While I knew that only one sister actively opposed Trump and that others didn’t like the man but agreed with many of his policies, I had not taken the political pulse of my family in quite some time. If I’m being honest, it’s because I wanted to believe that all of the criminal cases against Trump would have changed their view of the man. I mean, they couldn’t actually vote for a convicted felon, a convicted rapist… would they? This week I got my answer.

I sent an email to my sibs, expressing dismay at Trump’s reaction to Episcopalian Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde, who pleaded with him to have compassion on marginalized individuals living in fear due to Trump’s EOs. Trump and many other so-called Christians attacked her for preaching what is quite literally the gospel of Jesus Christ. I asked my sibs (who I know were all raised Christian like me) whether they could defend his actions. 

My brother responded by completely twisting the issue, employing the classic MAGA tactic of Deflection by Defamation, “So the Bishop is against stopping the influx of illegal children being smuggled into this country by the cartels and being sold into sex and labor slavery?” Child sex trafficking, of course, was not the topic of the Bishop’s sermon. He couldn’t seriously address my question. I believe Christians have a responsibility to try and hold other Christians accountable for their behavior—which is what Bishop Budde was doing with Trump and what I was doing with my siblings, but both had the same results.

Then, I tried reasoning with my family about the inherent danger of pardoning violent offenders, many of whom assaulted law enforcement and/or were promising retribution. From both a brother and sister, I got the MAGA “whataboutism” response that ignored my question and redirected it. Comparing apples and oranges. 

But the conversation that broke me this week started with my MAGA brother trying to convince me that Musk’s Nazi salutes were examples of him “throwing out love from his heart” to the crowd… which is a pretty ridiculous take when you look at the defiant triumphant smirk on Musk’s face. Yeah, that’s love alright… Love of fascism.

Let’s be clear, this gesture was followed by a sentence that said, “My heart goes out to you. It is thanks to you, that the future of civilization is assured.“ Given Trump doesn’t believe in combatting climate change, it’s pretty easy to see what Musk’s talking about there.

To bolster his argument, my brother also included still photos of various Democrats with their arm in the air, using another one of MAGA’s favorite tactics—false equivalency.

Of course, if Musk truly had made a gesture that was misinterpreted, he could just explain that, right? I mean, since he posts dozens of times a day on X. However, he never issued clarification statement and instead chose to mock those showing concern by making a bunch of Nazi puns. (You can’t make this shit up.) So, in that exchange, I got to learn that my brother thinks Nazi’s are okay. 

Later, I found a 2023 clip from a Tesla conference where Musk literally makes a gesture of showing love from his heart and—no surprise here—it looks nothing like his Nazi salute from this week. 

I sent this out to my siblings to further my case. My sister responded by saying that the Anti-Defamation League disagreed that it was a Nazi salute. (If you’ve been following this, you know that they initially gave him benefit of the doubt —which is not the same as disagreeing—but that statement received an enormous amount of backlash. Once Musk refused started making bad Nazi puns, they responded more forcefully. She also blamed his neurodiversity. Now, I know quite a few people who are on the spectrum—heck, my daughter Lucky thinks I may be—but exactly 0% of them “accidentally” give Nazi salutes.

Despite explaining this to my sibs, nobody admitted, “You’re right, it looks like he may be a Nazi…my bad.” Instead, several of them accused me of hate, cyber-bullying, and making them feel demeaned by bringing up these uncomfortable topics in the first place. (Sigh.)

Apparently, saying that it’s wrong to make apologies for Nazi behavior is worse than… actual Nazi behavior. 

My beloved, dear old dad was a WWII veteran, so seeing his children minimize a Nazi salute breaks my heart. And yet I know that seeing his kids argue would break his heart. I’m at a loss, though, of how to move forward. I’ve told my sibs that I love them, but I won’t stay silent about important issues for the sake of family harmony. That wasn’t a winning strategy in 1930s Germany, and it’s not a good strategy today.

As a result of all this, I don’t expect much interaction with my siblings in the months or years ahead. I’ve told them that if they break their way out of the cult, I’ll be the first to celebrate with them, but today I simply don’t see that happening. Thankfully, I DO have one sister who shares my views on Trump, and she has been a literal lifesaver to me over the last decade. (Rock on, Barbigrrrrl!) I also have scores of nieces and nephews who understand the dangers of MAGA and are trying to navigate their own strained and complicated relationships with their parents and some cousins. So my extended family isn’t gone from my life, it’s just contracted a bit.

I know that many of you have had similarly heart-breaking conversations this week… I wanted to let you know you’re not alone. But I also want to remind you that only 32% of eligible voters actually voted for Trump. He does not have a mandate to do the things he is doing, so it’s critical that everyone who opposes him be brave and vocal about what’s happening, so as not to normalize or meekly accept any of this. 

When people who have been warning against Trump for years suddenly go quiet, then the people around them start wondering, “If they’re worried about retribution or being identified as ‘anti-Trump,’ maybe I should be scared too?” And that, in a nutshell, is how fascists gain power. Therefore, I’m asking you from the bottom of my heart (note to insert correct emoji vs. Heil Hitler: 🫶🏻)… Do not let the fascists win.

What now? Stormy gears up for the long haul by creating a sanity plan

On By StormyIn Attitude, Faith, Family, Getting older, Health/fitness, Marriage, Politics, Relationships, Work/careersLeave a comment

Over the last several years, Stormy has been seeking direction.

When I was unexpectedly laid off in 2022, my subsequent job search revealed what I had always suspected—that marketing is a particularly age-sensitive field and age discrimination is real. Yet, it felt too soon for me to retire, so I decided to do some fractional CMO consulting work while I figured out my next steps. Marketing consulting is a tough gig for an introvert. In addition to marketing your clients products and services, you have to spend equal time marketing yourself.

As I was in this consulting phase, another marketing colleague was telling me about their new client who ran a MedSpa type of business, offering Botox, fillers and other “aesthetic” treatments. I was surprised (and dismayed) to learn that their target market was in their 30s! And while I won’t judge anyone for personally choosing treatments that may make them feel better about their appearance, I know that to effectively sell these products to thirtysomethings, a marketer would need to inject fear and insecurity into their hearts before they would agree to inject Botox into their young faces.

In today’s uncertain business environment, it’s difficult to pass up a paying client… yet, I’ve reached the stage in my career where I’m only interested in working with people and organizations whose values, products and services align with mine. Yet, I genuinely enjoy the social aspects of working, learning new things, and making a difference.

Meanwhile, on the home front, Oskar and I were discovering that you can’t outrun Parkinson’s indefinitely—although God knows, we’ve tried. Changes in his condition, like no longer being able to drive, are now requiring me to spend more time being a caregiver (a role that, anyone could tell you, I wasn’t exactly born for). 

The progression of Oskar’s PD symptoms also led to a host of related lifestyle changes this past summer: Moving from a condo with two stories to an apartment where all our living space is on one level, renting out our vacation condo, and downsizing half of our “stuff” to fit our belongings into the new, smaller space. 

When I had time to reflect on my situation—not loving consulting work, wanting more control over the products, services or causes that my efforts were going toward, and the need for a more flexible schedule at home to accommodate my husband’s illness—I had to ask myself… Was it finally time for me to retire? And what would that even look like? Oskar’s daily challenges made the stereotypical active retirement—lots of activities and travel—less feasible, so how would I fill my time? KitKat and I started this blog more than a decade ago (can you believe it?!) and in that time, I’ve reinvented myself again and again. Yet still I’ve felt aimless and discouraged. A friend suggested to me that as I face what is likely to be a more challenging stage with Oskar’s illness, that I needed find a way to not only accept my reality, but embrace it. To live a life of purpose vs. mere tolerance.

I’m still nearly a decade away from “retirement age,” but if there is one benefit of having a spouse be diagnosed with a serious condition at a relatively young age it’s this: It forced us to financially prepare for an unknown future. As a result, we never really subscribed to “lifestyle creep” as our incomes grew, but rather, we put as much as we could into savings—so that if either of us had to retire early, we would have the freedom to do that. 

I was mulling over my friend’s advice, but with all the downsizing/moving activity this summer, it was easy for me to push out any decisions about what to do next. So that’s what I did. I also knew that once the move was complete the election season would be in full throttle, and I couldn’t make a decision about my future without knowing what our nation’s future might hold. With Biden stepping down and Harris quickly pulling together an amazing level of support, I was hopeful and excited that we might finally get our country back on track. But I awoke in the early hours of Wednesday morning to headlines that absolutely shattered half the country. 

Talk about an unknown future!

After the initial shock wore off—replaced by a profound disappointment in my fellow Americans—I was surprised to find that I was oddly accepting of the situation. While I absolutely wish things had gone the other way, I firmly believe that some people can only learn important life lessons the hard way. And, unfortunately, this appears to be one of those times for many Americans. 

Anyone who has tried to reason with a MAGA cult member knows that you can’t. It’s the definition of An Exercise in Futility. Yet, because I have family members in the cult, I nevertheless persisted. For so much of the last decade, I have felt like we were at war with the mythological Hydra: Chop off one ugly head and a couple more appeared in its place. Lies. Disinformation. Hatred. Racism. Misogyny. Homophobia. Over and over. In addition to any personal challenges I was facing, I was constantly anxious and distracted by the news and social media. I found myself ignoring my health and using alcohol to calm my nerves. I lost my sense of joy. 

Just another day of defending the truth.

Last week, with my acceptance that Harris lost the election, came a realization that that particular battle was over. No, I’m not throwing in the towel on democracy. I will continue to work toward it. However, I’m no longer going to suit up and stare down the Hydra day after day. I’ve sacrificed a decade of my mental and physical health to an awful cult and I’m not going to give them another day. One week after winning the election, the incoming administration is already proposing a number of changes designed to undermine democracy. It’s clear to me that winning back our country will require a much longer-term strategy.

So where does that leave Stormy? One of my warrior outlaw in-laws sent a text on Wednesday saying she was working on a “sanity plan” for surviving these years under a wannabe dictator. I thought that was a great idea, but I took a slightly different approach. First, by drafting a personal Mission & Values Statement. Second, by drafting a Wellness Strategy. Together, I hope they will serve as my personal sanity plan. Here’s a high-level summary:

Mission & Values Statement

I believe that joy and positive relationships are essential to life, but each person must figure that out on their own (and some are slow learners). I will focus on cultivating joy in my own life by bringing my daily activities into greater alignment with my values:

  • Maintain perspective – The problems of our society won’t be solved overnight or even in my lifetime. Realize that I have been given privilege and talents that I should use to help others, while also taking the time to appreciate and enjoy my one life. 
  • Encourage beauty and creativity – I will do this by spending more time creating interesting and beautiful things, appreciating art and beauty, and helping other people live more creative lives. 
  • “Do all the good you can…” – My whole career has been using my writing to persuade people and win customers, now I plan to leverage that experience to advance the causes I most care about. I also want to teach some of these skills to disadvantaged groups to help level the playing field. 
  • Reclaim my religion – As a Christian, I’ve been particularly frustrated with the Christian Nationalist movement, as it basically contradicts every lesson Jesus taught and is responsible for driving people from the church in droves. Rather than abandon Christianity, I’m going to reclaim it and work harder to make sure people understand what Jesus preached—love for one’s neighbor without distinction for race, creed, gender or orientation. 
  • Stretch and grow – I will continue to try new things and won’t be afraid of failure. Since I’m no longer chasing a paycheck, I can no longer be “fired.” This means that I really cannot fail at anything I do (so long as I learn something along the way). I also know that engaging in learning and discovery are the best ways to stay interested and interesting. 
  • Accept that you can’t do it all – There are myriad ways for each of us to be useful in this world and everyone has a different role to play. Therefore, I may as well choose projects that fuel my personal enthusiasm and renew my spirit. 
  • Rest unapologetically – I’m going to implement my Wellness Strategy and pace myself, so I can continue these activities for as long as I can. I’m in this for the long haul. 

And, because I think this is extra important for so many of us now, I’d also like to share how I intend to do this.

Wellness Strategy

  • Limit exposure to 47 – This goes without saying. No more sneering orange face, no more grating, unintelligible voice. I can read analysis and transcripts to understand what he’s up to, but if I never see or hear from him again, that would be just ducky with me. Fortunately, there’s a good chance I’ll outlive him, and that will be a happy day indeed. 
  • Limit the news – Like many, I’ve become absolutely disgusted with the mainstream media for normalizing a despotic criminal and treating him like a legitimate candidate. Moreover, exposure to news 24/7 is unhealthy. Instead, I’ll be checking in once a day to get a synopsis from a few trusted sources and do my best to silence the chatter.
  • Limit social media – After the last election, I did some extreme curation of my social feeds. This was a lifesaver, and I will continue to keep my social media activity limited and positive. I want to spend more of my life offline than online. 
  • Stick with my tribe – Spend time strengthening my relationships with those who share my values. Avoid spending time with those who don’t. This isn’t the same as ostracizing those on the other side. It’s just choosing to preserve my peace. I’ll continue to work toward their deprogramming (“thoughts and prayers” anyone?), but I will not spend my time socializing with them. Unfortunately, this extends to family members. When some of them are willing to put a target on the backs of others, they cease to be family for me. If/when they realize their grave mistake and are ready to accept responsibility, I’ll be happy to welcome them back in my life.
  • Recharge and reset – Identify activities to proactively recharge my personal batteries before I “power off.” Spend time each week on creative projects to nourish my soul. Get out and attend museums, plays, lectures and other mind-broadening events. 
  • Embrace exercise and nature – Be physically active. Workout daily. Get out in nature regularly. Soak up the sunshine. Experience the weather. 
  • Focus on my health – Eat and drink in a healthy way. Reduce my sugar intake. No more using alcohol as an anti-anxiety med. No reliance on comfort meals that leave me feeling sluggish. Catch up on all the doctor’s appointments and screenings that I pushed out of the way when I was stressed or busy. 
  • Distract by diving in deep – Do meaningful volunteer work or start a side hustle or two. Learn new skills and subjects in order to advocate effectively. Keep myself distracted with useful, purposeful activity vs. doomscrolling and worrying about the future. Cross each bridge when I come to it. 

I found this exercise good for my psyche. It gives me a sense of purpose, but more importantly, it restores a sense of balance that I’ve been lacking for far too long. If last week’s election is leaving you feeling unmoored, I recommend taking a stab at your own sanity plan… and I’d love to hear about it. I want all my righteous peeps to not only survive, but thrive, in the difficult years ahead.

Happy Blogoversary!

On By StormyIn Attitude, Blogging, Politics, Relationships1 Comment

A decade later, it’s STILL easier said than done.

The other day, I realized this blog is now in the “double digits.” That means that for more than a decade, KitKat and I have used this space to vent, confess and—hopefully, at least occasionally—to inspire. 

Of course, there was no acknowledgement of this momentous occasion from me back in early January when the Blogoversary occurred. That’s because over the last five years our contributions have been extremely erratic, if not altogether absent, and frankly, I just didn’t notice.

Let’s face it: We’ve all been through a lot. As a world population, we’ve survived a pandemic. As a nation, we’ve survived an attempted overthrow of our government. And on a personal level…well let’s just say that, KitKat and I have each dealt with some personal challenges as well. 

For a long while now, nearly every time I’ve thought about writing a blog post, I’ve had Writer’s Block. Blocked by an inability to articulate what’s on my mind. Blocked by sadness and frustration. Blocked by my desire to adhere to our “brand promise,” which doesn’t include veering off into angry political tirades month after month. (And yes, I know there have been several instances when that anger slipped through anyway!) 

To be honest, I’ve been depressed. I still may be depressed, actually, but I think that I’m finally, FINALLY starting to come out of it. What’s changed? Well, my fears related to the pandemic and political environment have eased somewhat, but more importantly I’ve returned to a fundamental belief that is key to managing my own frustration: The root of all suffering is attachment. 

When I first learned of this principle while studying Buddhism in college, it was like a lightning strike to my angst-ridden brain. Of course! It was so OBVIOUS! But understanding something and internalizing it are two very different things, and Stormy and KitKat are both so notoriously bad at bringing those two things into alignment that they even named this blog after their perpetual struggle!

During an argument with a friend last year, he reminded me: “People will always disappoint you.” And I realized that truly was my problem—I was attached to my rather high expectations of 1) what others should be doing, and 2) what I should be doing myself. 

As a result, I was being disappointed on the daily… And that’s no way to live… So it’s personal growth time for Stormy, once again.

A few years back, I wrote about Stormy 2.0… Well, to be honest, I’m not sure WHICH version of Stormy I am today. We’ve been releasing updates on a 2-week sprint cycle for several years now, with multiple patches being deployed as needed to address bugs. (That Stormy is one buggy product!) Let’s just say that the only constant is change. But here is what I can tell you about me, and this blog, going forward:

  • Like Yahweh and Popeye, I am what I am. But I accept that what I am is also constantly evolving, and I’m no longer going to be as “attached” to the notion of whether you like it or not.
  • I’ll likely cut you more slack than I have in the past, because I realize now that you’re perfectly imperfect.
  • I’ll also cut myself more slack than I have in the past, because I’m really the only one I can count on to be with me every day of my life. 
  • I’ll drag KitKat along for the ride, because she’s been on a completely different yet parallel journey, and I believe she also has some new insights to share. 

It’s only natural that this blog will continue to evolve along with its authors, and if there’s been one recurring theme on this blog, it’s been this notion of constantly reinventing ourselves. But detaching ourselves from previous expectations—about ourselves and others—doesn’t mean that we can’t still have some fun along the way. 

Stay tuned. 

In the fight for liberty, we can’t afford to fight each other

On By StormyIn Attitude, PoliticsLeave a comment

We must embrace everyone who is willing to vote blue in 2022 or we won’t have any independence to celebrate next year

I saw this on Twitter and thought it encapsulated the way a lot of us are feeling on this holiday.

It’s hard to celebrate our country’s independence when the Supreme Court has been taking a sledgehammer to Americans’ right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. 

Everyone knows that we’ve gotten off-track as a nation, although people may argue on when we jumped the rails: Was it when Trump was nominated? When Trump won the 2016 election? When Trump falsely claimed voter fraud? When Trump incited an insurrection at the Capitol?

Maybe you think Trump was the culmination of something that began much earlier. Should we go back to “weapons of mass destruction” or Reagan’s “trickle-down economics” to pinpoint the beginning of the end? Should we go all the way back to when European settlers first stole land from Native Americans or to when slave traders brought Africans against their will to this country? 

I’m sure a compelling argument could be made for any of these examples, but assigning blame  isn’t going to solve the problem at hand. We’re in a full-blown constitutional crisis and what happens in the next few months will literally determine whether we continue to live in a democratic country or one that is ruled by a minority faction of Christian, white-nationalist fascists. 

So, where do we go from here?

Here’s another recent tweet that spoke to me:

My goal isn’t to thoroughly depress everyone on a holiday weekend. We can still reclaim our country, but it requires working together to ensure that Democrats win as many seats as possible in 2022, so they can pass the laws needed to help shore up our fundamental rights. And then we need a repeat victory in 2024, to make sure it sticks.

To succeed, we must:

  • Make sure we impress upon everyone we know how important it is to vote blue. We need to make sure friends, family and acquaintances understand HOW, WHEN and WHERE to do that.
  • Encourage everyone to double-check their voter registration status. (Even if they’ve lived in the same place and voted previously, many people—yes, even in Minnesota—are finding that their registrations are disappearing as various communities clean up their voter rolls. Don’t take it for granted that you’re good-to-go.)
  • Accept anyone who is willing to finally turn away from the GOP to join in the fight for democracy. Even if you personally dislike them, think they are hypocrites, want to say “I told you so,” etc., refrain from alienating those who finally want to do the right thing. Welcome them back from The Dark Side and reinforce their decision.
  • Let go of individual objectives and get behind whichever democratic candidate has the best chance of winning a given race. In some races, this may mean that dyed-in-the-wool liberals need to back a candidate who is more centrist, since we need conservatives and independents to help tip the scales in our favor. We can’t have another presidential election like 2016 where Bernie syphoned votes from Hillary, because we literally won’t be able to recover from it. (And if you think Hillary wasn’t liberal enough to earn your vote in 2016, then you’re REALLY not going to like a Trump or DeSantis “presidency” that continues into perpetuity.) At the same time, we need to make sure that those we elect understand what’s at stake and will vote accordingly (unlike Manchin and Sinema, for example).  

This Independence Day, it’s imperative that we (the sane, ethical majority) work to eliminate the current, imminent threat facing us before we go back to our petty bickering about what’s a fair tax rate for the wealthy, whether student loans should be forgiven, and how to get inflation under control. There will be plenty of time for arguing those finer points of policy after we’ve secured our basic human rights, but to do so right now is akin to rearranging the proverbial deck chairs on the Titanic. 

Those seeking power in the GOP have demonstrated a complete disregard for democracy, so it’s going to take all of us—working together—to ensure that we still have a free nation to celebrate next year and for many years to come.       

The Irresistibility of Jesus and Democracy

On By StormyIn Faith, PoliticsLeave a comment

I swore to myself that I would move on from politics and start posting about other pressing matters, but after last week’s siege on the Capitol as the grand finale of the #StopTheSteal rally, I had one last thought (or maybe it’s two thoughts?) that I wanted to share.

Selcuk Acar/NurPhoto, via Getty Images

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m deeply disturbed by the number of so-called Christians that have been supporting 45, particularly those who continue to support him even after last week’s insurrection. I understand that many of them claim their pro-life beliefs compel them to support the Republican party, and that the end justifies the means. But unlike the boats that sank in this summer’s Trump parade, that argument doesn’t hold water. At this point, supporting Trump for his anti-abortion stance is akin to excusing those who kill abortion doctors because they’re sacrificing one life for many. The right-wing violence demonstrated over the last week shows that these self-proclaimed pro-lifers are now aligning themselves with the very types of people they claim to oppose.

The end does not justify the means. Period.

The “Christian” segment of Trump supporters is led by the white, evangelical Christians. I’ve always been leery of evangelists, because in my experience many of them focus on the wrong things—turning evangelism into a contest for salvation points or, worse, using it as a get-rich-quick scheme. (Incidentally, for a really thorough and thoughtful discussion on evangelism, I recommend this article.) For my agnostic friends who aren’t inclined to read that, I’ll put it more simply: I believe that the absolute, most-effective method of evangelism is not just to share Jesus’s words, but to model his behavior. It seems obvious, but it’s rarely done. Instead, I’ve found that many Evangelicals focus on more obscure parts of the Bible to try to browbeat the “unchurched” into submission. Case in point: Do you realize that Jesus never said one word related to LGBTQIA-related issues or abortion? Nope. He did, however, very clearly instruct us to love our neighbors as ourselves. I don’t believe Jesus wants abortions to happen, but I believe he wants us to solve that problem through compassion and by taking care of one another—not through fines and penalties. He gave us the tools we need to solve the problem using cooperation, kindness and generosity. All we have to do is get to work. 

This browbeating—which is increasingly being reinforced with physical violence—is one of the many ways that Christians who support Trump are actually driving people AWAY from Christ. And they will need to answer to Jesus for that, because that’s the exact opposite of what he commanded.

Granted, aspiring to live like Christ may be difficult task, but it’s also the only sure-fire way to draw people to him. His example on this earth—and the fact that he’s still such a large part of our daily conversation two thousand years later—is a testament to his “irresistibility.” The truth is, it’s hard to resist the overwhelming pull of compassion that Jesus demonstrated: feeling understood, being challenged to be the best version of yourself, yet knowing that you are forgiven for your short-comings and are still a beloved Child of God. Who wouldn’t be drawn to that kind of energy? The unfortunate reason more people haven’t experienced that is because most Christians are really bad about actually living Christ’s example. (I include myself in that indictment, although I continue to try my best.)

In other words, I think Evangelicals should stop haranguing people to accept Christ as their personal savior and start showing them what Jesus stood for instead. I guarantee they will win more souls for Jesus with that approach…no conversion therapy necessary.

It’s like the ridiculous, so-called “War on Christmas.” There IS no war on Christmas. Like Jesus, Christmas is too darned irresistible. That’s why you occasionally see Hindus and Jews capitulating to their children’s request for a Christmas tree. They may not embrace the Christmas story about a virgin giving birth to the Son of God (which, spoiler alert, didn’t actually occur on December 25th), but they often can’t resist the trappings: the lights, the tinsel, the carols, the sentimental movies and peace-on-earth-good-will-toward-men. The only thing that many non-Christians request of their Christian neighbors is to acknowledge that not everyone celebrates Christmas and to not react to the phrase “Happy Holidays” as though it’s a curse. Which, if you think about it, is not an unreasonable request to make of someone whose faith compels them to “do unto others as you would have done unto you.”

“America First” is a race to the bottom.

And there’s another corollary to this that applies to a troubling policy that many conservative Christians are embracing: (White) Nationalism. Jesus made it very clear that salvation was for all nations, not a select few. The USA isn’t “special” in terms of being God’s favorite—as much as it may pain some Evangelicals to hear that. Moreover, this line of thinking is short-sighted and stupid. The pandemic has shown us that no country can afford to stand alone during a time of crisis. It took researchers sharing information globally to identify the virus and how it spreads. Likewise, multiple vaccines could not have been developed in record time without international collaboration. Climate change is another example: We ALL will suffer its effects—no matter how many walls we build or security checkpoints we put in place in an attempt to secure our borders. Our economic stability is also dependent on global cooperation. In short, we need to be a nation focused on “win-win,” not “win-lose.”

“America First” is not only a misguided and dangerous philosophy, it’s also unnecessary. For those who insist it is needed to spread democracy throughout the world, I would respond that our Constitution is a beautiful, sexy thing… the envy of many. And the promise of what our democracy could be (but admittedly has not yet achieved) is nearly as irresistible—in terms of government—as Jesus is to religion. Therefore, if we can just model a democracy where all men and women are truly created equal, with equal protection under the law, and equal opportunity for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, then we won’t NEED to sanction other governments in an attempt to move them toward democracy. It will happen organically. In the same interconnected world described earlier, other nations that are exposed to the freedom and justice of the United States will eventually demand the same. And the Vladimir Putins and Donald Trumps of this world will be limited in their influence and power.

We just need to focus on two tasks to bring about real change:

1. Love thy neighbor as thyself

2. Strive for equality and justice for all

The challenge before us is these are both “Easier said than done.” It may not happen overnight. However, if we rise to the challenge, I guarantee it will happen. 

Christianity or Karma: An election paradox

On By StormyIn Attitude, Faith, PoliticsLeave a comment

On May 2, 2011, Oskar and I were watching TV when programming was disrupted by breaking news: Osama bin Laden had just been killed in a secret raid. I turned to Oskar, high-fived him (!) and then was immediately ashamed. I had just high-fived my husband over a man being murdered—what was wrong with me?

Like all Americans, I had been devastated by the terrorist attacks on 9/11 and viewed Osama bin Laden as Public Enemy #1. My gut reaction to his death was a rather base reflex triggered by all of the anxiety he had caused me and my fellow citizens. As a Christian, I condemn evil in all its forms, but I also know that it’s not my job to condemn another human being (even if that human being does evil things) OR to celebrate their death. I was able to forgive myself for what I considered a very human reaction, and I prayed that in bin Laden’s final moments as the raid was occurring, he somehow recognized his sins and was able to make his peace with God. 

History repeats itself

Fast-forward to last night: I read that Hope Hicks, a close aide of Trump’s, had tested positive for Covid-19. My immediate gut reaction was a mixture of excitement and hope, thinking: “Maybe he’ll get it and this nightmare will end!” Then again, as with the bin Laden incident, I felt ashamed. 

This morning, I awoke to the news that my wish had come true when my sister texted me, “Is it wrong to say I hope he dies? Or at least gets very sick?” I responded, confessing that I had had a similar thought the previous night. Then I reflected on whether it was morally justified to wish for some kind of karmic justice… After all, Trump is not an innocent victim of the coronavirus the way that millions of others have been. He has had top epidemiological experts advising him, access to the latest data/research, any precautionary equipment (tests, PPE) that he could possibly need, and a whole team of sycophants willing to cater to his every whim, and he has willfully chosen not to utilize any of these resources in a responsible manner. Furthermore, as a result of his negligence and his lies, 200,000 people have died. 

So, my thinking is that if the virus is among us and someone is going to catch it—or even die from it—then there is a certain poetic justice in it being him. But, looking at the situation from my Christian perspective, I can’t “celebrate” that, in the same way that President Obama never celebrated the death of bin Laden, even though he was the one who ordered the raid. Instead, I will follow the lead of both Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi who have exuded admirable class when they—honestly, I believe—express concern for those GOP members afflicted with the virus and pray for their recovery. Because that’s what decent human beings do in a civilized society. (Frankly, I’m not sure I would be able to display as much grace as they have, had I undergone the many personal attacks they’ve had to endure from Trump.)

Was I guilty of giving oxygen to hatred?

And that last sentence sums up my biggest issue with Trump. The thing that I hate most about him is that he has exposed my own hatred. I really loathe the man. I hate his policies, his greed and his racism, yes, but more than that, I hate the way that he makes a mockery of our democracy and plays Americans—even his most devoted followers—for absolute fools. And I hate the fact that he has done irreparable damage to my relationships with people who fail to denounce him. Because, by accepting (or even tolerating) his lies, his white supremacist ideology, his fascist dictator-like posturing, his condemning of the media, his threats of violence if the election doesn’t go his way—they have lost all of my respect. I can never look at them the same way or continue to have a social relationship with them. 

And I hate myself for hating him so much. While I recognize that “hating the hater” is not the same as “being a hater” (after all, as we learned in math class the double negative cancels itself out) holding that kind of hatred in one’s heart is a poisonous proposition.

Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping that it will kill your enemies.  

Nelson Mandela

I realized earlier this week that I’ve been generally unhappy for a very long time. Yet when I examine my life, most things in it are going pretty well. I have a supportive spouse and family, I’m financially secure, I live in a comfortable home, have good health, etc. While I don’t like dealing with this pandemic any more than the next person, I’ll freely admit that it’s affected me much less dramatically than it has many people. In fact, I consider myself fortunate in many ways. So, it didn’t take me long to identify the source of my unhappiness: Trump. Or, perhaps more specifically, the hatred and chaos that he thrives upon and brings out in other people.

And then I had another realization: I have just one life and, for-better-or-worse, this is it. Yet each day I’ve been giving mindshare over to this horrible person who doesn’t deserve an ounce of my respect, let alone any of my waking thoughts. Consequently, I had been giving oxygen to the hatred that he thrives upon. Worse, I’d been letting him steal my happiness in the same way he’s been trying to steal the election. And then I got determined… I’ll be damned if I let him steal my joy! 

Instead, I vowed to redirect my election anxiety into optimism and positivity. So, while I won’t wish a Darwinian death upon the cause of my unhappiness, what I hope for—and will pray for—is that this experience does two things:

1) Wakes up the 1/3 of the population that thinks this virus is a “hoax,” “just like the flu,” or “will disappear” so that they start wearing their damn masks and stop undermining the rest of us who are trying to get this pandemic under control (so we can avoid further needless death and rebuild our economy), and

“The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

2) Gives 45 an excuse to bow out of the race (for health reasons). As a classic narcissist who is facing the near-certain humiliation of losing, this would allow him to save face. I don’t even care if he resigns while proclaiming that he has been the Greatest President of All Time. I just want him gone. Gone—so we can shore up our badly battered democracy, control the outbreak of this virus, begin to recover our economy, and provide basic human rights and justice for ALL Americans. 

However, since we can’t be confident this will happen, we have to double-down on the original plan of making sure Biden is elected—and preferably by a landslide so as to minimize any post-election violence. My dream is to make this a reality:

https://twitter.com/i/status/1311482274354003969

The takeaway…

If you have NOT yet voted, PLEASE DO SO. And vote EARLY, so there is time to straighten out any possible registration or postal issues. 2020 has been one for the history books. But we need to do our part if we’re to succeed in containing the chaos to just this one calendar year. If you have any questions about HOW to vote, WHERE to vote, how to register, etc., send us a message and we’ll help you determine a safe voting plan. 

I’m not scared, YOU’RE scared!

On By StormyIn Attitude, Politics, Random, Summer1 Comment

It’s nearly August and the Coronavirus continues to spread, largely unchecked, in America. Likewise, on social media, the mask debate rages on. (I bet other countries are surprised to learn that there even IS such a thing as a mask debate in this country. But that’s the topsy-turvy, Alice-in-Wonderland version of the US we’re living in, sadly, during this Trump administration.)

In 2015, I did a blog post on the topic of “Living Fearless” because that’s long been a motto that I try to live by. Which is why I get so annoyed by anti-maskers who believe that those of us advocating compliance with masking mandates are “living in fear.” 

Basement dwellers and other myths

“I feel sorry for them, cowering in their basements…afraid to go out and live their lives,” they write…while congratulating each other for their bravery in “standing up for freedom.”  

Let me just say: No, no and NO. This is not an accurate assessment of anyone I know who is an advocate of wearing masks.

Speaking for myself, I can assure you that I’m not living in fear of catching the Coronavirus. While COVID-19 cases range from asymptomatic to annoying to deadly, I believe that my catching it would be more likely to result in inconvenience than hospitalization. However, all of the evidence has shown that it’s quite contagious, can be transmitted unknowingly, and can have long-term and lethal consequences in some instances—particularly for people who aren’t as healthy as me. Therefore, I consider it a moral imperative that I take sensible precautions to protect others. 

Let’s repeat them together: 

Fear is not my motivation for these actions. But having a healthy respect for science and a willingness to be inconvenienced for the sake of other people? Guilty as charged. In other words, I plead guilty to being a considerate human being. 

Let’s baaaaaaaaand together and beat this thing

Another annoying response to any online mask debate is the troll who will invariably respond with this gif:

Running a close second to the Haha emoji in its ubiquity, the implication is that those who follow these public health rules are sheep and not free-thinkers. Again…no.

Sure, a lot of respected leaders are asking people to wear masks. But do you know why? Because they work. And sometimes, knowledgeable people share their experience for the greater good—so others don’t have to learn the hard way. It doesn’t mean that the people who follow the lead of experts aren’t capable of making a decision on their own. It means they are exercising common sense. Take the old stick-your-tongue-on-a-frozen-flagpole gambit. You can ask 20 intelligent adults if this is a good idea and chances are not one of them will recommend it. So, are you a sheep if you follow their advice, or are you…maybe…just…wise? 

(Spoiler Alert: Here’s how that would turn out for ya.)

I believe that what so many people are interpreting as fear or herd mentality is in fact exasperation and frustration. Most Americans were under a stay-at-home order from mid-March through the end of April and even longer. We collectively sacrificed our relationships with friends and family, our jobs, our children’s schooling, our ability to see our aging parents. We missed out on weddings, graduations and funerals. Lives were lost. Businesses were shuttered. It was a huge sacrifice, but we started to flatten the curve…and see the light at the end of the tunnel…

…But then we opened everything up much too quickly and in the span of a few weeks, erased most of the progress we had made. 

Those who are advocating for the three common-sense measures (one more time for the guys in the back of the room)…

…are doing so, not because they are scared, but simply because they are tired of all this. They want to get on with their lives. They want to save our economy. They want the kids to be able to go back to school. And they want their friends, neighbors and relatives to lead long healthy lives. How to manage this pandemic is no mystery. Dozens and dozens of countries—even many third-world (or as Trump called them “shithole”) countries—have successfully handled it using the steps above.

In fact, people in those countries are somewhat confounded by the fact that America is doing so poorly when we have so much relative wealth compared to many of the countries that have beat this thing. They actually pity us for our poor leadership and our cut-off-our-nose-to-spite-our-face stubbornness. 

So, to circle back to the theme of this blog, I ask you: Who is scared? 

  • Is it the Frustrated, Exhausted Working Mom or Dad, juggling Zoom meetings and online classes, conscientiously limiting interactions with others, wearing a mask, and washing her hands? 
  • Or is it the Don’t-Tread-On-Me Individualist defying public health recommendations and harassing shop owners who are trying to protect their employees and customers? 

I contend that the true “Scaredy Cats” are the Don’t-Tread-On-Me Crowd. They are doubling-down on the mask issue because they are too scared to learn that all of their outrage and anger—at science, the media, and our liberal governors—has been misplaced. Too scared to discover that they’ve been contributed to the loss of lives and livelihoods for tens of thousands of innocent Americans.

If the latter group truly believes that this is all just a “plandemic,” and wants to refute my scaredy-cat claim, then let’s settle this debate with a Triple Dog Dare: There is a very easy way for you to prove yourselves right. Just follow the mandate for eight weeks and see what happens.  

Many public health officials agree that with uniform compliance it would take only 6-8 weeks to turn things around. So let’s try it. If it doesn’t work and I’m proven wrong, I will be the first to admit it here. Go ahead, America, I dare you!